


you will always be a part of me

by bituin



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Slice of Life, don't let the divorce thing scare you, is that a thing haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 09:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14054322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bituin/pseuds/bituin
Summary: Hyukjae and Donghae join their high school friends on a trip back to their hometown, a few days before they file their divorce papers.





	you will always be a part of me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic I've written five years ago can you believe it!! Cross-post from AFF (as i might delete the account in the future.) Edited a few things to fit my writing style now. Hope you enjoy and if you're here to reread, hope you had fun reliving this fic (i had!) :)

Donghae sticks his head out of the window, enough to feel the gush of wind against his skin while they drive down the road to the countryside. An old Usher song blares from the boom box and it effectively heightens the already hyped-up energy of most of his friends. Siwon sings and subtly dances behind the steering wheel, Sungmin wails and uses the toy hammer he was hitting everyone with earlier as a microphone on the passenger seat. Kyuhyun, who is sitting beside Donghae in the backseat, bobs his head with the beat while he plays with his iPad mini, while Jongwoon sleeps unaffected (with his mouth hanging open) on Ryeowook’s shoulder. Ryeowook, who can’t dance due to the position he currently is in with his boyfriend, just sticks his arm out of the window, feeling the air just as Donghae is doing.

 

Thinking he had enough of the cold breeze, Donghae is about to pull back when he feels someone just deliberately nudge him in the head. He turns and finds the rest of his friends, mainly Junsu and Yoochun, poking fun at him from the back of the truck. Gritting his teeth, Donghae snatches Sungmin’s toy hammer and is about to launch an attack to the two grinning idiots (totally ignoring the fact that they’re in a moving vehicle) if not for Kyuhyun stopping him. Donghae would have paid no heed to his best friend; he has never been a war-freak but he is exceptionally moody today and no danger or ‘you might harm yourself’ could ever stop him from his revenge. He tries to struggle from Kyuhyun’s hold on his collar, throwing dagger looks at the laughing idiots, and just as he’s about to break free from Kyuhyun, two hands hold the back of Junsu and Yoochun’s shirts, hauling them back and bashing their foreheads.

 

“Ya Lee Hyukjae!” Junsu shouts at the intruder, raven-haired and handsome Hyukjae. Henry, the youngest of their group, who is also with the other three at the back of the truck, laughs, pointing at the pouty Yoochun and Junsu who are currently massaging their foreheads from Hyukjae’s hit.

 

“Give it a rest, guys,” Hyukjae says plainly, glancing over the truck’s backseat window and finds Donghae still looking at him. Hyukjae gives him a soft, tightlipped smile and Donghae nods once before sitting properly on his seat. Another R&B song blasts from the boom box at the back of the truck and everyone (except for the invincible sleeper Jongwoon) starts partying again.

 

Donghae stops singing after the second chorus, deciding he’ll preserve his energy and just sleep the one and a half hour left of their trip before they reach their destination. He finds himself a comfortable position and just as he closes his eyes to take a nap, he finds Kyuhyun’s smiling face way too creepily at his direction.

 

“What?” Donghae asks, because when Kyuhyun smiles like this it’s either he wants something from you or he is about to say something really embarrassing about you. Most of the time it’s the latter, and judging from the way his best friend is grinning right now, Donghae knows it is indeed.

 

“Nothing!” Kyuhyun practically chimes, telling Donghae it’s anything but nothing, “It’s just really cute how Hyukjae still plays as your knight in shining armor. Your husband is so cute.”

Donghae rolls his eyes.

“He’s not my husband anymore,” he simply answers.

“Technically, he still is, because you haven’t filed your divorce papers yet. So legally speaking, you guys are still married,” Kyuhyun points out.

“That is until this trip is over. Once we go back to Seoul and sort out everything that has to be done, it’s over,” Donghae grits back, quite loud but not enough to get their friends’ attention, or distract them from singing. Kyuhyun snorts at his reaction and merely shrugs.

“Sounds fun! I can see how much you can’t wait until this trip is done,” Kyuhyun utters rather cynically and goes back to his iPad. Donghae rolls his eyes yet again and gets back to his plan of taking a nap.

 

Before he is pulled in a deep slumber though, he thinks he hears Hyukjae’s voice croak just as he tries to reach a particular high note.

 

-

 

 

Hyukjae and Donghae have been married for four years, and prior to that they’ve dated for six. And even before that they’ve been best friends since they’re four, so basically they’ve been in each other’s life for as long as they can remember. There’s nothing in Donghae’s life that Hyukjae has ever missed, and Donghae has been in Hyukjae’s every memory as well. It has always been like that; you will never see one without the other. Always Hyukjae and Donghae, two separate entities but counted together as one.

 

And perhaps it is the reason why, several months before their fifth wedding anniversary, the couple decided to finally call it off. They’ve been fighting for quite a while now, for way too long. They’ve come to the point when they’re not talking anymore, when they know nothing of each other anymore. It was painful, considering they’ve been together for eternity. And because they were indeed the best of friends before any of these complications happened, they were able to talk things out. It turned out that they were both curious of what life would be if they took different paths. They were married at such a young age, back when they were both freshly graduated from university, and back then they thoroughly believed they will be together forever. No one expected there will come a time they’ll eventually grow tired of each other, that the other wouldn’t be enough to make them happy and content. And so they decided to break-up and the good thing was they managed to stay as good friends. They’ve been living separately for two months now; they found it a little difficult to adjust since they used to be attached at the hip, but it was better than fighting every day. They were able to do the things they’ve always wanted to anyway, and they’re still friends. All’s good.

 

They decided to file for a divorce and make the separation official by the end of the third month that they were apart.

 

-

 

They weren’t planning to see each other until they have to talk about the divorce, but coincidentally, their high school friends set up a get together summer trip and everyone’s pretty excited about it that they didn’t actually have a choice. It isn’t as if they’re ignoring each other anyway; they’re in very good terms, so when Siwon called and asked them if they could come (and that he will be very, deeply, super sad if they couldn’t), they both said yes.

 

It’s not as if something would go wrong in a trip like this anyway.

 

-

 

 

“Wow, I can’t even remember the last time I’ve been in the pension house!” Henry exclaims as he jumps out of the truck.

“That’s because you were a baby back then,” Junsu comments and Yoochun snickers. “Now get your ass back here and help us unload these luggage--- God Sungmin, did you bring your entire wardrobe?” Junsu glares at Sungmin as he lifts the heavy pink suitcase that obviously belongs to the latter.

Sungmin just huffs and strolls towards his boyfriend Siwon, said man talking to the pension house’s caretaker, the same old lady that attended to them eleven years ago, back when they’re the young and sneaky sixteen year olds (or fourteen year old in the case of Henry). Henry softly whispers to Hyukjae how he never thought Halmeoni is still alive and Hyukjae sniggers a little too loud. It catches the old lady’s attention and glares back at them; whether she heard Henry’s remark or not they aren’t entirely sure. She has always been grumpy even before.

 

Halmeoni hands the keys to Siwon, and unlike before when she had to stay with them (given that they were all minors back then), she has to go back to her own home today and take care of her sick husband. After informing Siwon the things he has to know, she wishes for them to enjoy their stay (although they aren’t sure how sincere she was since she said it with a frown) and bids them farewell. Junsu pretends to shiver and Yoochun, as always, laughs with everything his boyfriend does.

 

“I say the pension house didn’t change that much? What can you say guys?” Siwon asks with an arm around Sungmin.

“Well Halmeoni sure did a good job taking care of it all those years. The eleven years did take its toll on it, but it pretty much the same as I remember it to look like,” Ryeowook comments and turns to his now fully awake boyfriend, Jongwoon. “This was where we spent our first summer in high school. You remember? That place we always talked about?” They met Jongwoon when they’re in college, so he’s pretty much left out when it comes to reliving memories of their high school life. Ryeowook fills him just as much information as he needs to know though.

 

“Oh! The place where Hyukjae and Donghae got together!” Jongwoon even snaps his fingers when he remembers, and Donghae coughs out with nothing, side-eyeing Jongwoon because really, does he have to say that out loud?

 

He hears his friends snigger and Donghae rolls his eyes. He knows their hometown is the destination of the trip but he isn’t informed that they’ll be going to this particular place out of all places. It holds a lot of memories — wonderful ones if he may add — but those are it. Just memories. Something his friends will surely tease him, or them, about.

 

“Yes it is,” Donghae hears his voice and he turns just in time to see Hyukjae jump off Siwon’s Nissan pick-up truck. He is holding two luggage, one is his own (Donghae recognizes that suitcase because he was the one who bought it for Hyukjae) and the other one is Donghae’s. Hyukjae walks towards him and hands him his luggage, grinning boyishly before facing Jongwoon. “This is also the place where Kyuhyun and Siwon first had se---“

 

“Alright it’s getting hotter, let’s go inside!” Kyuhyun yells and grabs Donghae’s arm, hauling the brunette with him as he heads for the pension house. Donghae hears his best friend mutter a few curses towards his soon-to-be-ex-husband and he has to chuckle a little because he knows how Kyuhyun still tends to be a little uncomfortable talking about his past relationship with Siwon (especially now that he is dating their friend, Sungmin.) He is way over Siwon (it’s been seven years!), but that doesn’t mean he could talk about his ex-boyfriend (and the things they used to do together) without being awkward. Donghae smiles to himself.

 

This house indeed brings a lot of memories.

 

-

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to switch rooms with Henry?”

Donghae’s answer comes with a glare.

“I was just asking!” Kyuhyun exclaims with a chuckle. “But aren’t you afraid he’ll jump on Henry? Since their room was where you guys used to room before~”

Donghae snorts and decides to unpack his stuff.

“You’re just envious because Siwon and Sungmin use the room you guys had sex at before,” Donghae teases back.

 

He comes out of the room a few minutes later with a throbbing lump at the back of his head.

 

-

 

Donghae marches down the stairs with a pout, a hand still pressed at the bump on his head which is currently aching like hell. He mentally curses his best friend, swearing he will restart all the games in Kyuhyun’s iPad later when he is asleep.

 

He heads to the kitchen in search for some ice and there he finds Hyukjae, busy scribbling something (his name, Donghae’s sure of it) on his cartons of strawberry milk. Donghae laughs and momentarily forgets his anger at his best friend and approaches him. 

“You know you’re the only one who drinks strawberry milk among us, why do you have to label all your boxes?” Hyukjae is quite startled but when he realizes it’s just Donghae, he grins, adorable gummy smile and all, and shrugs.

“I don’t know really, it became a habit I guess. I share the refrigerator with my roommate and he tends to just grab anything in it. I feel the need to put on labels,” Hyukjae explains with a chuckle and Donghae smiles a bit at the mention of Hyukjae’s new roommate, of Hyukjae’s new life.

 

When they decided to break up, Hyukjae moved out of their house and found himself a new place to stay. One of his friends in college offered his own apartment and since it’s a little expensive, he decided a split in the rent would help. Donghae only found these things from Junsu since he had never really talked to Hyukjae.

It’s still kind of odd how he learns things about Hyukjae from other people and not the other way around.

 

“Why don’t you find a place you could own by yourself then? We both know you’re earning high enough to provide for the two of us, what more for just yourself?” Donghae asks and Hyukjae just simply smiles, saying he has so many things at hand at the moment to bother looking for one.

 

Donghae refrains himself from asking furthermore.

 

“Why are you here anyway? Hungry?” Hyukjae asks even though they just had their lunch. There’s a mischievous grin on his face and Donghae scowls at him because he has always teased him with his huge appetite. It’s not like it’s a crime. But Hyukjae has this habit of teasing him in every little thing like the cheeky brat he is.

“No, I’m not,” he glares at him, and then he remembers about his bump (the pain surprisingly subsided as he was talking to Hyukjae). It started to hurt again and Donghae juts out his lower lip, whining about Kyuhyun and how he just deliberately hit him with his netbook just because of a joke. Hyukjae chuckles and shakes his head.

 

“Kyuhyun is still violent, I can see,” Hyukjae comments, placing his cartons back in the fridge. Donghae couldn’t agree more and he is so close to throwing a tantrum because it really hurts. He keeps his hand on his lump, stomping his feet and acting very childish that Hyukjae cackles, messing Donghae’s head just as he closes the fridge.

 

“Stop whining; you should have known before you teased Kyuhyun,” Hyukjae utters with a grin, proceeding to the bathroom next to the kitchen and disappearing behind the still open door.

“He teased me first!” Donghae retorts, but when Hyukjae asks what Kyuhyun said, Donghae chooses not to tell the truth.

“It’s lame,” he utters instead and Hyukjae just scoffs and doesn’t push the topic anymore. He comes out with an ice pack in hand, and although Donghae has the faintest idea what will that be for (and that he should take it from him really, he can manage on his own), he merely watches Hyukjae take a few ice cubes from the freezer, filling the ice pack with it before turning back to him.

 

Wordlessly, Hyukjae takes his hand off the bump and presses the ice pack against the painful lump. The cold feels so good against his throbbing head and instantly, a gratified sigh escapes Donghae’s lips. Hyukjae chuckles, rubbing the ice pack against his husband’s head gently.

 

Silence reigns all over the kitchen but none of them minds. Hyukjae continues to press the icepack at the back of Donghae’s head, while Donghae finds a high stool behind the kitchen counter to sit on. It is with a few minutes later that Hyukjae’s lips crack with a grin, and then his shoulders are shaking as he suppresses a chuckle.

 

“What?” Donghae asks the grinning male and Hyukjae shakes his head.

“Nothing,” he says but Donghae squints at him and he gives in. “I just remember that one time, back in high school. It’s a summer trip too! You know… that one when we went to this farm where Junsu’s uncle used to work? We were riding bikes on our way to the falls and you—“

“Must you really remind me?” Donghae glares at him and Hyukjae cackles because he can perfectly imagine everything that happened as if it was just yesterday. Donghae, on the other hand, huffs and unconsciously touches his nose, pouting as he recalls that one particular summer he lost control of his bicycle and fell, face first, on the ground. He winces, squishing his nose at the memory.

 

“My nose was badly broken,” Donghae says with a pout. “It’s the reason why I think it’s a little crooked now,” he utters, poking his nose with his index finger and unintentionally letting out a frown and crossing his eyes while doing it. Hyukjae chortles at the adorable sight.

“Nah, your nose is still cute,” he assures and Donghae scoffs.

“But I’ve always been cute to you,” Donghae says flatly and it is Hyukjae’s turn to scoff this time.

“That’s right,” he agrees and notices that the ice pack is heavier, signifying that the ice cubes have all melted already and it’s time to replace it with new ones. Hyukjae disposes the melted ice cubes on the sink and heads to the fridge to stuff the now empty ice pack. Donghae sits back on his chair and keeps pinching his nose.

 

Later that afternoon, when they’re out to swim and wander around the beach, Hyukjae playing with Junsu, Yoochun, and Henry, while Donghae walks along the shore with Kyuhyun, Donghae realizes that the chat in the kitchen earlier is the first time, in a very long time, that he had an actual, stress-free conversation with Hyukjae.

 

It is also amazing how they fell into conversation so smoothly, no room for awkwardness and hesitation at all.

 

-

 

They have grilled oysters, steamed shrimps, fried fishes, and more grilled sea food for that evening’s dinner. Donghae takes a seat in between Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, joining the little commotion his friends are making while they reach out for the dish they want. Hyukjae is engaged in a conversation with Henry and Jongwoon, all the while peeling off a handful of prawns.

 

“You seem to like shrimps a lot.” Jongwoon remarks, looking at the huge pile of prawns on Hyukjae’s plate. Henry frowns, but Hyukjae simply smiles.

 

When Siwon arrives with the grilled stuffed squid, the table becomes a lot noisier as each tries to get a portion for themselves. Donghae is currently picking some of his favorite prawns when Hyukjae stands up, handing the plate of peeled-off shrimps to Donghae that has the latter frowning for a second before accepting it with a huge grin. The brunette then grabs another empty plate, squeezes himself with his friends and later on comes back with a platter of the grilled squid and some oysters. He hands the plate to Hyukjae, with a strawberry milk on his other hand, and the man beams and gladly takes it all.

 

“Oh,” Jongwoon comments on his seat after seeing the trade, “I thought the shrimps are for him.”

Henry snorts and shakes his head. “Hyukjae-hyung can’t eat shrimps. He gets rashes!” Henry informs before taking a bite of his squid, “Donghae-hyung loves it a lot though.”

 

-

 

Unlike their first day, tourists began flocking the beach the next day, and an hour before lunch, the whole place is actually crowded. Everyone’s pretty annoyed over the fact that they couldn’t find a spot for themselves but fortunately, Junsu and Hyukjae have other things in mind.

 

“We’re going to a place and it spells f-u-n!” Junsu chirps.

“The last time you said that, with that tone, we ended spending a night at the police station,” Sungmin reminds, not in the least bit amused and Junsu scowls at him.

“No one says you’re invited anyway!” Junsu snaps at the guy and Sungmin glares back before clinging to his boyfriend, Siwon.

“Where are we going anyway?” Siwon asks and just as he does so, Hyukjae comes with a few men and bicycles.

 

“I rented some of these. We’ll need them to get there,” the raven-haired informs his friends and Kyuhyun frowns.

“Can’t we go there using Siwon’s truck?”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Hyukjae asks him, imitating his frown and Kyuhyun glowers back.

“There are only a few bicycles left so we will have to share,” he adds as he points at the six bicycles (including the one he’s riding). Kyuhyun huffs and quickly approaches one bicycle as the men who helped Hyukjae bring the rides start to leave.

“I’m riding this one on my own,” Kyuhyun announces.

 

In the end, Kyuhyun and Junsu have one bicycle for themselves, Yoochun sharing one with Henry, Siwon with Sungmin, and Ryeowook with Jongwoon. The others started cycling as they followed Junsu, and Hyukjae stops before the still hesitant Donghae.

 

“Let’s go?” Hyukjae asks, reaching out for Donghae’s hand but Donghae just pouts, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt and eyes on the ground. Hyukjae chuckles and softly presses a palm at the back of Donghae’s head. This effectively grabs the brunette’s attention as he lifts his head and gazes back at Hyukjae.

“Does it still hurt?” Hyukjae asks, stroking his head gently and Donghae figures he must be pertaining to the lump he had yesterday. Donghae shakes his head.

“That’s good,” Hyukjae utters with a smile and withdraws his hand. “Let’s go then?” he asks again as he shifts slightly and balances his bike, looking back at Donghae and gesturing him to hop in. Donghae hesitates again and Hyukjae laughs before poking Donghae’s nose with his forefinger.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m a good driver.” Hyukjae says and Donghae gazes back at him. Hyukjae chuckles and pokes his nose once more. “I wouldn’t let this cute little buddy get hurt again, ok?” he reassures and Donghae groans, complaining why they have to ride bicycles in the first place.

 

“Seat belts please?” Hyukjae says playfully when Donghae finally settled on his back.

“Very funny, Hyukjae,” Donghae mutters cynically as he wraps his arms around the other’s waist. Hyukjae laughs and with a big grin brightening up his face, he starts cycling to catch up with their friends.

 

 

-

 

Apparently, Junsu and Hyukjae’s idea of having fun involves a high cliff, waves crashing on solid rocks below, and daredevil confidence to jump off the 10-meter hill.

 

“Up, up, and awaaayyy!!” Junsu screams before diving head first.

“Babe, wait for me!” Yoochun comes yelling behind, pulling his shirt off and falling very ungracefully after his boyfriend.

“Oh God, that’s why the road felt so familiar,” Ryeowook groans and realizing his boyfriend is taking his shirt to jump too, he is quick to screech in an attempt to stop him.

“It’s dangerous!” Ryeowook screams but it doesn’t sound so convincing especially that Henry and Siwon just jumped consecutively, with the former even doing some backflips in the air.

“Didn’t you try it out before?” Jongwoon asks and his tiny boyfriend just flails his arms.

“But we’re just eighteen then! We’re stupid!”

“B-but---“

 

“LEE HYUKJAE!”

 

The arguing couple comes to a halt hearing the loud shriek that came from a wide-eyed Donghae. He is holding a white shirt, which from the looks of it doesn’t belong to him but to the half-naked man stretching before him.

“Oh come on, Hae. We did this before!” Hyukjae reasons out and the statement seems to aggravate Donghae more.

“Yes and you almost hit your head with some gigantic rock back then!” Donghae shrieks, ignoring Sungmin and Kyuhyun’s giggles on the side.

“Aww, but I’ll be careful! Come on, you know how fun it is!” Hyukjae utters, hauling him by the hand which Donghae haughtily bashes away.

“Hyukjae that’s different, we were young back then!”

“Ouch. Way to say I’m too old for this, Hae.”

“You know that’s not what I meant—Hyukjae!”

 

There’s a mischievous smile on Hyukjae’s face, his feet a few centimeters from the edge of the cliff. He is grinning at Donghae, and said man is currently looking at him with wide eyes that say he shouldn’t be doing what he is planning to do.

 

“Lee Hyukjae I swear if you jump off and die, I’m going to kill you!”

 

But said man just laughs, not in the least bit threatened and even dares to throw the exasperated Donghae a kiss. Hyukjae then holds on to the silver necklace Donghae fails to notice he has been wearing (because he’s too busy nagging at Hyukjae) before turning back and jumping off the cliff without a warning.

 

“Hyukjae!”

 

Donghae sprints over the edge and reaches it just in time to see the splash Hyukjae makes as he submerges in the water. The rest of the guys are all laughing, but Donghae doesn’t find anything funny at all. He waits for Hyukjae to surface, his breath catches up in his throat, mentally counting the seconds Hyukjae hasn’t appeared yet. When he reaches ten and there was still no Hyukjae in sight, Donghae begins to shiver.

 

“Hyuk…,”

 

An earsplitting squeal is heard and the rest of the guys that are left with Donghae over the cliff rushes beside him, checking what is happening. Junsu is flailing in the waters, screeching the life out of him only to stop when he realizes it is only Hyukjae. Apparently, his best friend is an asshole enough to trick him and pull his leg while he’s underwater. Junsu starts hitting Hyukjae and said man chuckles and swims away even before Junsu could kill him. He gazes over the ones left above the cliff though, a wide gummy grin on his face as his eyes lands on Donghae.

 

“You little fuck,” Donghae mutters to himself, a wave of relief gushing through him as he clutches Hyukjae’s shirt tightly in his grip.

 

-

 

The dinner that evening isn’t in the pension house but at the beach party thrown by one of the rich locals living in a nearby townhouse. Everyone is pretty much invited but since kids aren’t allowed in, it is less packed than it was that morning.

 

Donghae busies himself nibbling a fried chicken leg, casually gazing over the place in search for his other friends. Ryeowook and Jongwoon sit beside him but since they’re both busy feeding each other, Donghae could actually use someone else’s company. A few minutes later, he smiles at the sight of his best friend Kyuhyun, handsome and cool in his all white outfit and a glass of piña colada.

 

“Where are the others?” Kyuhyun asks as soon as he reaches their table and takes the chair before Donghae.

“I could ask you the very same question,” Donghae answers with a bored tone.

“I think Yoochun and Junsu are up to join the beer drinking contest, ugh those barbarians,” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and Donghae chuckles, “Henry, on the other hand, found a girl that he’s totally checking out.”

“Woah, really?” Donghae asks with a wide grin.

“Yeah, I think she’s Chinese too? But she’s with her friends so Henry had been bugging me to come with him since he’s shy and apparently I am single, therefore I can check if someone in her circle could be my type, bleh!” Kyuhyun makes a face as if he feels like puking and Donghae laughs yet again, “But I said I am not interested so if he must, he should bother someone else. He said he’ll take Hyukjae then.”

“Who?” Donghae asks, quite unsure if he heard it right since Kyuhyun muttered the last part of his sentence before taking a sip of his drink. He also doesn’t laugh this time.

“Hyukjae. He is taking Hyukjae,” Kyuhyun answered flatly. “I didn’t stop him since Hyukjae is quite the free man now, right? Because technically, once this trip is over, he’s free to date whoever he wants to. I mean, he’s free to date even now right? You said so yesterday and you guys aren’t even wearing your wedding rings anymore.” Kyuhyun points out; the meaningful gaze he throws at his best friend is left unnoticed when Donghae’s eyes fall on his hand.

 

__I’ve stopped wearing it since Hyukjae moved out._ _

 

“It is okay, right?” Kyuhyun asks before sipping his almost finished drink. The noise he makes pulls Donghae back from his reverie.

“Yeah,” Donghae answers right away. “Yeah, of course it’s okay,” he says as his thumb unconsciously brushes his ring finger.

 

-

 

Donghae sees Henry on his way back to the pension house. He’s with a group of unfamiliar people Donghae believes to be the friends of the girl he likes. He also spots Kyuhyun, surprisingly chatting with a tall, dark, and really handsome (even at the distance) man. Lastly, he finds Hyukjae, smiling at a skinny, fair-skinned, and pretty young lad.

 

Donghae tries to feel happy and continue walking.

 

-

 

“Oh-“ Donghae stops at the sight of Hyukjae stepping inside the pension house’s porch just as he comes out of the door.

“You’re here already?” Donghae asks, tilting his head slightly to the side because not even half an hour ago, he saw Hyukjae with Henry and a group of friends. He was talking to this beautiful man just a few minutes ago. Isn’t he supposed to come later? Or probably not come home tonight? At all?

 

Donghae tries not to flinch at the thought.

 

Hyukjae doesn’t answer him though, because his eyes are fixed on the two pink cartons Donghae is currently holding.

“Those are mine,” Hyukjae says flatly and Donghae’s stare falls as well at the boxes in his hand, Hyukjae’s name scribbled on each. He grins sheepishly and looks at Hyukjae, guilty.

 

“Share?”

 

-

 

Hyukjae snorts before taking a sip of his drink.

 

“I knew labeling my drinks wouldn’t work on you,” he teases and the brunette pouts as he sinks in embarrassment on his seat. They are still at the porch, sitting on the long wooden swing located at the left side of it.

“It’s just that the rest of the beverages are alcohols and sodas, and you know I don’t fancy those. So I took one—two of your milks,” Donghae mutters, clutching the carton in his hand tightly. “It’s not that I’m stealing it! I’m planning to buy you one whole pack tomorrow!” He defends himself and Hyukjae drops the interrogating looks and chuckles, telling Donghae he can have as much strawberry milk as he wants.

 

“I don’t really mind,” Hyukjae utters. “It’s you, anyway.”

 

-

 

“Weren’t you with Henry earlier?” Donghae asks some time later, both of their cartons drained and squeezed up to the last drop. “I saw you guys.”

“You did?” Hyukjae asks, leaning back at the swing’s backrest and rocking them a bit.

“Yeah,” Donghae nods, raising his feet a little above the ground as the swing starts to sway. “You were talking with this pixie-like pretty boy.”

Hyukjae snorts at the description. “Yeah?” he asks, and Donghae nods.

“Why did you leave early though?” Donghae utters the question and turns his head a tad bit to look at Hyukjae. Said man shrugs.

“I got bored,” he replies honestly. Donghae nods his head again and doesn’t say anything after that.

 

The silence lasts for about fifteen seconds.

 

“You know Hyukjae...” Donghae begins and Hyukjae stops rocking the swing to look at the brunette. Donghae gulps before carrying on.

“You know if you want to date, you can do that. Because, you know, basically we’re not together anymore. If you find someone you… like, go for it. I don’t want to hold you back or anything.” Donghae voices out and the look Hyukjae gives him is pretty intimidating. He is the first one to drop the gaze and Hyukjae laughs before rocking the swing once again.

“Well, legally speaking, you’re still my husband. And if I date anyone right now, that would be cheating. And if I cheat, you could sue me. I don’t think I want that; that one night we were grounded at the police station because of Junsu is enough.” Hyukjae says with a cackle.

“But—“

“Donghae-yah,” Hyukjae calls and catches Donghae’s attention effectively.

 “I won’t, alright? As long as we’re married,” Hyukjae says and a small, tight-lipped smile appears on his lips. “I won’t.”

“Alright.”

 

-

 

“But you know… if you want to date…”

“Are you trying to make me cheat right after you said that you won’t? I won’t too, okay? I don’t want you to sue me.”

“But I won’t sue you—“

“No, Hyukjae.”

“But—“

“No.”

“Well… if you say so.”

 

-

 

“I haven’t found anyone I want to date though,” Donghae mutters after a while.

“Yeah?” Hyukjae asks while he’s attempting to make their empty cartons of strawberry milk stand over each other.

“Yeah,” Donghae murmurs. “They’re not my type.”

“Type?” Hyukjae snorts at the statement and Donghae eyes him as if he said something weird. Hyukjae notices it and shakes his head.

“Nothing it’s just… I didn’t know you had a type.” He comments and Donghae feigns to be taken aback until he hears Hyukjae’s next words, “I don’t even know if I have a type.”

“Oh,” Donghae responds and then he realizes that is actually true. “Yeah.”

“Right?” Hyukjae grins when he notices that comprehension finally dawns on Donghae, “I mean, all my life, I never really had that one ideal person I would hope to be with. Not that I needed to… since there was—“

“You.” Donghae completes Hyukjae’s sentence, indicating he is thinking of the same thing the other has in his mind. Their eyes lock and they both chuckle.

“Yeah,” Hyukjae mutters, a soft smile gracing his lips as he turns his gaze in front, over the porch, across the shore line, straight through the calm evening sea. Donghae heaves a sigh.

“We should really be out there and meet new people,” Donghae remarks absentmindedly, eyes falling on the same view Hyukjae is looking at.

“Hmmm,” Hyukjae hums and feels the gentle, chilly gust of wind that kisses his face. “Yeah.” 

-

 

Things are easier said than done though because the next morning, when the beach is crowded again, thus the bigger the chances of meeting someone new, Hyukjae knocks on Donghae’s door and asks him if he wants to go biking and Donghae…

 

Donghae, of course, says yes.

 

-

 

“This is so high school,” Donghae utters and laughs as Hyukjae speeds up and tries to surpass another truck with their bike.

“Yeah? Do you remember?” is all Hyukjae could say, gummy grin and bright eyes, not the least bit mindful of the scorching heat of the sun.

“You are so stupid, Hyukjae!” Donghae yells but he thinks he could say the same for himself because he’s enjoying this insanity.

“Ooh there’s another truck! Let’s go?” He asks although Donghae knows Hyukjae wouldn’t listen even if he says no.

“Hold tight!” Hyukjae shouts and he just has to smile when he feels Donghae’s arms clutch tightly around his waist.

“Don’t let go!”

 

-

 

“Where were you the whole day?” Kyuhyun asks the minute Donghae steps out of the shower that night. “And fuck man, you’re orange.”

 

Donghae laughs, catching his reflection once again in the mirror over their table. His cheeks are suffering from really bad sunburn but he can’t actually complain because the day has been really fun. He and Hyukjae even agreed to do it again tomorrow, and probably visit other memorable places while they’re at it. Donghae wouldn’t even deny to himself how much he is looking forward to the idea.

 

“We went biking around the place,” he answers before grinning at the memory. “Hyukjae and I.”

“Just the two of you?” Kyuhyun asks again, lifting an eyebrow and Donghae nods.

“Yeah, is there a problem?” Donghae snarks back and Kyuhyun shrugs.

“Nothing it’s just—“ Donghae sees his friend bite his lip, as if he is contemplating if he’ll say this or not.

“What.”

“It’s just… you do know you guys are getting a divorce after this, do you?” Kyuhyun utters and Donghae faintly freezes on his seat.

“I’ve noticed how much you and Hyukjae are getting along pretty well lately; our friends even started asking if you’re really breaking up. And there’s nothing wrong with that! I’m glad to see you guys are still friends. It’s just that… I don’t know…” Kyuhyun scratches his head for the lack of better words.

“It’s just that if you guys make up and decide not to push the divorce through then I can never be happier. But if you’re still planning to do so, I guess you should stop whatever you’re doing now. Because after all this? Even if you say you can be friends? Trust me,” Kyuhyun’s eyes are glossy, and it shows an emotion Donghae distinguishes to be the look his best friend has whenever he sees Sungmin and Siwon.

 

“It’s still going to hurt.”

 

-

 

Donghae remembers, while Kyuhyun sleeps soundly on the other bed, when everything but the sounds of waves crashing to the shore is muffled by the silence of the evening, when the lights are off and he is embraced by cold and darkness, Donghae remembers.

 

The everyday fights, the words that hurt, the indifference, the loneliness. The sight of Hyukjae walking out of the house that was once their home…

 

And then there’s the bright sun, the blazing heat. Hotness that he wasn’t entirely sure if it was caused by the broad daylight or the way he was pressed real close against this man he used to call his.

 

Don’t let go.

 

-

 

Maybe I should start letting go.

Those are Donghae’s last thoughts before disentangling his arms around Hyukjae’s waist.

 

The action catches Hyukjae off guard, since Donghae does it just as he said he’ll go faster. Donghae gracelessly falls from the bike and Hyukjae quickly presses the brakes and turns to find Donghae lying on the ground.

 

He climbs off his bicycle and leaves it on the ground, dashing into a sprint towards Donghae. Hyukjae isn’t sure what’s going on inside the man’s head. He does notice how he’s obviously less ecstatic than he was yesterday, and for a second he actually thought their biking wouldn’t push through for today. But Donghae hopped on his bike and held onto him tightly.

 

That is until he, all of a sudden, let go.

 

“Donghae! Are you okay?” Hyukjae asked frantically. It is a good thing he’s on the side of the road and the vehicles aren’t as frequent as they were the day before.

 

Donghae whimpers and Hyukjae spots the bruise on his elbows, blisters on his forearms, and a huge wound on his right knee. His fret heightens, gathering the shorter man in his arms as he silently hopes he could take his pain away.

 

“Hae, are you okay, does it hurt?” He asks, worried and berserk. “Why did you do that? I told you to hold on tight, right? I told you not to let go!” Hyukjae says. He didn’t mean to yell or to sound angry, but he’s frustrated and Donghae is injured.

 

He is freaking scared out of his wits.

 

And then Donghae sniffs and Hyukjae realizes he is close to crying.

They both are.

 

“It hurts Hyukjae,” Donghae whispers and Hyukjae marvels just how deep the emotions behind those words are.

 

It hurts to let go.

 

-

 

Hyukjae sinks on his seat while he watches the old lady attend to Donghae and his wounds. He would have helped, but the woman said she can handle it on her own, Hyukjae didn’t insist. He had enough of Halmeoni and her glares anyway.

 

Thankfully, Hyukjae doesn’t have to cycle all the way back to the pension house or search for a nearby clinic because Halmeoni coincidentally lives close to the spot where Donghae fell off the bike. She saw them as she was hanging up her clothes in their yard, and recognizing they are one of those kids she left in the pension house, she offered her help and told them to come inside the house.

 

Halmeoni’s house is small and simple. It isn’t grand and expensive like most of the new townhouses around the neighborhood they’re in, but it is decent enough for her and her husband to live in. The walls of the living room are adorned with pictures from different decades, of faces of Halmeoni and her husband, their kids and their grandchildren. Sketches drawn in crayons and charcoals can be seen in the cabinets, a sign that this house was once filled with mischief and mirth, of little kids Halmeoni and her husband had raised and grew old with.

 

Hyukjae can’t help but be amazed.

On how a simple wall or furniture can have a thousand memories to tell.

 

His wandering comes to a halt at the sound of another whimper from Donghae. He turns his gaze back to the man over the couch, frowning with his lower lip jut out while Halmeoni tends to his injuries.

 

“You may have all grown up but you’re still the same little kids I met back then.” Halmeoni remarks, shaking her head and telling Donghae to quit whining like a puppy. Hyukjae chuckles at the comparison but he immediately stops once he receives a glare from Donghae.

 

When Halmeoni is done nursing Donghae, Hyukjae tries to approach him and ask if he’s okay, but the way Donghae shifts and attempts to turn his back on him gives Hyukjae the clear message that he doesn’t want to talk. So the raven-haired remains on his seat, sadness and longing etched on his face, giving the voiceless walls another moment to witness.

 

They’re about to bid Halmeoni goodbye when they heard a series of violent coughs and Halmeoni quickly runs to the open door in between the kitchen and the living room. Hyukjae and Donghae didn’t know what to do, but in the end they both wordlessly decided to follow Halmeoni.

 

It is just a small room. The same wallpaper from the living room covers its walls, but unlike the previous room and the dozens of photo frames hanging in it, this room hangs only one. When they walk closer, they find out it’s a picture of a younger Halmeoni and her husband on their wedding day.

 

A bed sits at the center of the room, and lying in it is the older, wrinkled version of the young lad Halmeoni was with in the picture. Donghae remembers him to be the harabeoji that fetches Halmeoni with his old, noisy jeep many years ago. Compared to the grouchy and moody halmeoni, Harabeoji always wore a brilliant smile, an expression that didn’t fail to brighten Halmeoni’s stern face, leaving Donghae and his friends in surprise that the old woman can actually smile like that. It’s a face only Harabeoji can bring about. It is the face that, from the looks of it, has not come to appear in a while.

 

Halmeoni sits beside the bed, helping Harabeoji to sit up and drink his tea. She caresses his arms and his back, before guiding him to lie back on the bed again. Harabeoji barks a few more coughs but he attempts to muffle the rest to probably not worry Halmeoni even further. Halmeoni chuckles at that, telling her husband to just let it all out. Harabeoji would have answered if he can talk, but he looks too weak to do so. So instead he holds Halmeoni’s hand and — it is barely there but they couldn’t have missed it — gives it a light, grateful squeeze.

 

It’s pretty simple, just a touch, but the smile that graces Halmeoni’s face right then brings the two silent onlookers back to several years ago, back when they first saw that sweet smile. Years and decades have gone by, but as Donghae and Hyukjae shift their eyes from the present Halmeoni and Harabeoji before them to the young, happily wedded couple in the picture frame, they must admit…

 

They look entirely the same.

 

-

 

“Fifty years? Didn’t you ever get tired?” Donghae asks as he watches Halmeoni tuck the already sleeping Harabeoji to sleep. Hyukjae is already outside to get his bike.

“Tired?” Halmeoni scoffs and pulls the covers up to Harabeoji’s chin. “I always get tired.” She admits, but the gentle stroke she does on her husband’s cheek tells Donghae there’s more to her words.

“But all these years, all those mornings I’ve been waking up with this face,” she says with a soft laugh, her hand gently pressed on her husband’s cheek, “Warm and breathing, right here and all mine, I figure…” She smiles when Harabeoji unconsciously leans to her touch, “There’s no other face I want to wake up to.” She utters and Donghae sees the sincerity…

 

The realness…

 

The love.

 

“When we got married, I couldn’t wait to start the rest of my life with him, and now, fifty years after, I felt like the rest of our lives are still yet to come. Fifty years is too short, and forever doesn’t sound so bad.”

 

“Really? I know it is very much obvious but… after all these years?”

 

Halmeoni smiles, the gentlest Donghae has seen in her face in his life.

 

“You’ll understand,” she says, her tone thoughtful, “When you find that someone you can’t see yourself without.”

 

Donghae’s brows knit and Halmeoni laughs yet again as she stands up and ushers Donghae out.

 

“People come and go, kid,” she says before letting Donghae go. “But there will always be that one face you want to see first thing in the morning.”

 

-

 

Donghae is quiet through the whole ride back, something Hyukjae expects and doesn’t dare to question anymore. He doesn’t know what is going on inside Donghae’s head, and he secretly wishes that he does, still does. But then again he is afraid, terrified that what he is going to learn will hurt.

 

But it is not as if he could be any more hurt than he is right now.

 

-

 

The sun has already set when they reach the beach, and since the place where Hyukjae had rented his bike is definitely closed by now, he decides to take it back to the house. He is in the middle of parking the bicycle beside the porch when suddenly, the heavens is illuminated with fireworks of different colors, brilliant and beautiful against the starless evening sky.

 

Donghae stops just before he enters the door, eyes locked on the glittering pyrotechnics. He watches as each color changes, pretty lights exploding across the vast night sky. A smile intuitively forms on his lips, flashes of distant memories starts playing in his mind even before he realizes it.

 

“Do you remember?” He hears Hyukjae from outside the porch. He is looking at the sky, but he turns his head just as Donghae does and their eyes meet. There is an expectant look on Hyukjae’s face. And when he speaks, his voice sounds hopeful.

 

“Do you remember, Hae? Also around this hour? Back at the seashore?” Hyukjae asks and Donghae couldn’t even bring himself to lie.

 

“Our first kiss.” He answers and the way Hyukjae grins widely blinds him more than the vibrant lights above.

“This is where we fell in love,” Donghae whispers without thinking and when he comes to comprehend what he just said, he widens his eyes and finds an equally surprised Hyukjae.

 

But the startle doesn’t last long, for Hyukjae that is, because suddenly there is a faint, tight-lipped smile on his face.

 

“No it’s not,” he utters and Donghae frowns. “I’ve been in love with you way before that.” He clears up. “But it was only then, it was only here, that I found the courage to say it out loud.” Hyukjae utters, looking very bashful and sheepish as he scratches the back of his neck. Donghae just had to chuckle on how cute Hyukjae currently look like.

 

“This is the place I first told you I love you, Donghae.” Hyukjae suddenly says and Donghae stops laughing. Hyukjae is wearing an expression Donghae hasn’t seen in a while, or probably because he is too busy thinking of a life that doesn’t involve Hyukjae, to notice. But Donghae knows he has seen it. He used to see this every day, every morning, every time he looks at Hyukjae. It is the face Hyukjae wore the day they got married, the same face a lanky, sixteen year old Hyukjae has on the night he confessed under the glimmering fireworks.

 

“This was where I asked you,” Hyukjae utters and Donghae feels the corner of his eyes heating up because, why hasn’t he realized this earlier?

 

All the dreams, all the things he wishes he could do, all the persons he aspires he could become. All of them.

 

All of them suddenly seem useless if there’s no Hyukjae.

 

“This was where I asked you if I can spend the rest of my life with you,” Hyukjae utters with a broken voice and Donghae feels a tear fall.

 

“And I hope you’d still say yes.”

 

-

 

They’re not entirely sure why the house is empty, but when a pair of lips is pressed against yours and your limbs are tangled with someone else’s, your housemates would be the last ones to worry about. They manage to reach Hyukjae’s room, the one they shared before, and it is not a really smart thing to do considering Donghae is injured but they are too all over each other to even care.

 

They fall on the bed with a thud and Donghae groans because his blisters hurt, but the fretful face Hyukjae makes has him laughing. He tugs on Hyukjae’s shirt even before the man can whine and the raven-head happily complies.

 

He lets Donghae pull his shirt up while he nibbles on the other’s neck, his hands reaching places they have been before, touching spots that has always been his. Hyukjae detaches his lips from Donghae’s jaw just as the other successfully pulls his shirt off his head. Once it is discarded, Hyukjae is quick to smash their lips together, sucking and tasting, kissing the hell out of the thin lips he has missed so much. When breathing becomes a chore he pulls away, pressing his hands on each side of Donghae’s head, panting and smiling as he hovers above him.

 

Just as Hyukjae’s about to dip his head down and kiss the life out of Donghae again, a silver chain falls off and Donghae notices it to be the same necklace Hyukjae is wearing that day they jumped off the cliff. The silver thin chain wraps around Hyukjae’s neck, and a round, pretty familiar circular jewelry made of white gold, hangs on it.

 

It’s Hyukjae’s wedding ring.

It is their wedding ring.

 

“Oh,” Hyukjae chuckles when he sees Donghae staring at the silver band. “You found out about my little secret.” He says and grins when Donghae merely looks at him.

“I can’t just throw it away, you know.” Hyukjae explains before pressing a quick kiss on Donghae’s nose. “Do you really think I could easily let you go?”

 

“You little fuck,” Donghae mutters, eyes brimming with tears again as he grabs Hyukjae’s neck and crashes their lips together.

 

-

 

“We’ll work things out, okay?” Hyukjae murmurs against his hair as he pulls Donghae closer, their naked chests pressed together. “If you want to do things, just tell me and I’ll let you, I’ll support you. Whatever it is, whatever you want to do—“

“I’ll do it with you,” Donghae utters even before Hyukjae could say anything further. He lifts his head to meet his husband’s gaze, cupping his face and pecking a quick kiss on those plump lips.

“We’ll do everything, you and me, together… okay?” Donghae utters and Hyukjae, thinking he just fell in love with his husband all over again, could just nod.

“So no more divorce?” Hyukjae asks even though he’s already sure.

“What divorce?” Donghae frowns before meeting Hyukjae’s lips for the nth time that evening.

 

-

 

He feels a gush of wind hit his cheek and he cracks an eye open to find the room illuminated with the rays of morning sun from the opened window. The cool sea breeze blows the curtains, swaying its way inside the room. He suddenly feels a little cold and he thinks of shutting the window close, yet the protective arms that are wrapped around his frame prevents him to do so. Donghae shifts his eyes from the window to the body lying next to him, and seeing the other’s peaceful and handsome face, the cold doesn’t seem to be much of a trouble anymore.

 

He keeps the window open while he snuggles to his husband’s embrace. Hyukjae presses their bodies even closer, and Donghae feels the soft, gentle brush of the other’s lips against his temple. And just before he lets the cool wind and Hyukjae’s soft snoring lull him back to sleep, Donghae lifts his gaze to stare at Hyukjae’s face.

 

‘Yep,’ Donghae thinks, ‘definitely the first face I want to see for all the mornings to come.’

**Author's Note:**

> i've changed twitter! talk to me at [@chimooru](http://www.twitter.com/chimooru) :)


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